


Nightmarish Punishment

by Sakura_Lawliet



Category: Banana Bus Squad, H2OVanoss - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 04:19:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14394156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakura_Lawliet/pseuds/Sakura_Lawliet
Summary: Jonathan curled into himself, a ball on the floor. He found himself wishing for Evan, he wanted to hear Evan laugh, see him smile and tell him everything was going to be alright. He needed Evan... he just needed Evan to shine a light in the darkness, like he always use to. Evan could save him, he knew Evan could.He had to believe that Evan could.





	Nightmarish Punishment

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Youtube (obviously) or any of its users. I especially do not own Delirious, CaRtOoNz, Vanoss, I AM WILDCAT, nor any other YouTuber mentioned in this writing piece; they are all owners of their own being. I only take credit for the plot and story. Neither do I gain any profit from this writing piece.
> 
> **WARNING(S):** **WARNING(S):** Please read and take note of tags. Be cautious and _always_ read with discretion, no matter the story!
> 
> **ADDITIONAL NOTE(S):** This story is an earlier work of mine, so I apologize if the characters seem a little Out Of Character.
> 
> Nightmarish Punishment _is an older work of mine that I haven't rewritten or edited much since I wrote it. The writing isn't how I write currently, so please be wary of mistakes or any cringe it may have. I keep it up to help me see the evolution in my writing and because other people seem to enjoy it._

Waking up was a chore, with a splitting headache and an aching body feeling as if it had been hit by a truck, Jonathan still tried to pull himself to a sitting position. He clenched at his head with one hand, while the other held him up, willing the painful throbbing to go away. He groaned as he leaned forward, feeling all of his limbs begin to ache with a sore in his muscles he's never even felt or used before since his younger days.

He looked up, his blue eyes observing the place he was at, which should have been his room, but apparently not. Everything was white. In his confusion, he frowned, his heart feeling like it was beating too fast, but at the same time, felt like it was too heavy for his chest. "What?" He murmured to himself, "Where the hell am I?"

Suddenly, the white landscape surrounding him shifted, tuffs of grey bleeding through, some spots darkening to a deeper almost black. His surprise heightened as soon as he saw that red started to seep through the floor. It's liquid form splashing at his ankles, acting almost as if it was trying to bite and attack. Jonathan jumped back and ultimately slipped making him fall right into the crimson lake that suddenly made itself known.

However, there was no ground he landed on, he just kept sinking. The red liquid sucking him further down into its murky depths. He tried to hold his breath, but his lungs fought against him, his body craving the oxygen more than usual, making his chest ache more with each second, and causing his throat and lungs to burn. He couldn't hold his breath any longer before he opened his mouth ready to suck in the water that continued to eat him alive.

His eyes tightly shut as he waited and waited for the suffocating feeling of drowning, but to his surprise he was fine. Instead, when he opened his eyes again, he was breathing normally and the crimson liquid was just getting darker the further he sank. Although, his moment of temporary peace was interrupted by sudden voices that seemed to echo throughout the crimson space around him, voices he recognized very well. The words spoken bringing the memory playing back through his mind.

_Delirious and Evan were drawing out their laughs from the last bit of conversation that passed between them, the small chuckles dwindling as the humor finally died out. There was silence between them for a moment before Evan spoke up again, "What are you thinking about?"_

_Delirious smiled sadly at the screen that showed Evan's face, sighed bitterly as he leaned his elbows on his desk and let his head fall into his palms, grabbing fistfulls of his hair. "...I don't know." It was unfair how he was acting, always choosing to hide himself behind a black screen than to take the chance to show himself, while Evan always choose to willingly show his face. His smile, his laugh, his eyes..._

_"We both know that isn't true." Evan broke him out of his thoughts._

_"I just," Delirious cut himself off with a frustrated groan, tugging more harshly at his hair._

_Evan's face instantly morphed into blatant concern, "Hey, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"_

_Giving out a shaky breath, Delirious scoffed at himself, "Don't you hate me?" Delirious watched Evan's face quickly express surprise at his question._

_"Wha-"_

_"You act way too friendly and nice to someone who hasn't even shown their face to you yet." Delirious cut him off as he looked down at his desk, "Don't you hate me or something, don't you wonder why? Don't you hate me for not being able to trust you yet?"_

_"Delirious." At his name, Delirious was instantly looking up to stare into Evan's eyes, even if it was only through a camera lens and screen. Evan's lips were set in an unbalanced straight line borderlining frown, almost as if Evan was trying to fight himself to keep from frowning. His eyes were staring undeterred into the camera lens, his eyes serious and swamped with worry as well._

_"Evan, I'm sor-"_

_"No," Evan cut him off sternly, "No, don't you even go there. If you aren't already looking at me, look at me, do you hear?" Evan huffed angrily. "Do I look like I hate you?"_

_"But Eva-"_

_"Do I look like I hate you?" Evan repeated._

_"No..."_

_"If I hated you, Delirious, I wouldn't be here."_

_Delirious kept silent._

_"Delirious, I swear, you are one of my best friends, I've never had as much fun with you as I have had with anyone else."_

_"Evan," Delirious went to whine._

_"No, listen to me. Delirious, I don't care how long it takes for you to show me your face. I don't care what you look like, I care about you, okay? You not showing me your face doesn't show me how little you trust me, it just shows me how much I need to show you me, so you can feel comfortable enough to show you. If that makes sense..." He paused, "I care about you. Don't ever think I hate you."_

_Delirious gave a small smile to the camera, even if Evan couldn't see it. "Thank you, Evan. I'm sorry for getting all stupid there."_

_Evan rolled his eyes, "You better be," he smiled too, "I just want you to be as happy as I am."_

_Delirious maybe didn't quite understand that last part, but it still made him smile. It made him happy, Evan always did._

Jonathan opened his blue eyes once more, an agitated feeling in them as he rubbed away the water building up, wondering how it was possible to cry while already in a sea of crimson liquid. Opening his eyes again, he eagerly peered around his surroundings, only to see more and more red, darker and lighter shades of red and just more red.

This must be a dream, Jonathan told himself, what else could it have been? That was until he blinked and again, he found himself elsewhere. There wasn't any more red, but instead, he found himself in his room. He scoffed to himself, of course it was a dream, he was looking down at himself. Sure enough, there was Jonathan, laying sprawled on his bed with blue sheets and soft comforters. His eyes were staring deadly at his ceiling, black bags underneath them making him look rough around the edges. His bright blues were now dull and the bags underneath were very dark, looking as if he hadn't slept in months.

And to the Jonathan standing over his unsuspecting double, he knew it was the truth. He knows that this Jonathan, the one laying on the bed was just waiting, wondering if he'll ever get that message he's been waiting for all day and night. That message from Evan telling him that he was awake and kicking, ready for some game time.

To him, Evan was like a drug, one he needed all day, everyday. He  _craved_  for Evan. More than he ever should.

Jonathan watched as his other looked over to his alarm clock. It was strange to him, how he could watch every move made by himself, but he couldn't hear the thoughts running through his mind anymore, just vaguely think what must have been; this must just be another memory.

Then it suddenly hit him, as he watched his double get up from the bed, sit on the edge for a moment and glance at his phone. It was like a ton of bricks weighing his heart to the floor, observing the way the second Jonathan grabbed the small device and opened it to his and Evan's conversation chat. Tears gathered in Memory Jonathan's eyes and fell slowly as he gradually typed out a message to Evan, before sending it and turning the phone off. Leaving the electronic behind, he got up and walked to the bathroom, fazing through Jonathan's invisible self on the way.

Jonathan swallowed harshly as he watched his memory self, close the door... never to leave the bathroom again. He could remember the harsh bite of the razor on his skin, and the coldness that overcame his body as the warmth slowly seeped out of him. The crimson liquid tainting the clear bath water with it's darkness as it spread to engulf its purity.

Jonathan could remember the pain, hurt, guilt, and sadness course through him a second time and he fell to his knees. He relived his death a second time, he knows now that this wasn't a dream...

Was this his punishment? To relive his death over and over again? He hated this, he died to get away, he died to get away from all of this pain, and hurt; this guilt...

Jonathan curled into himself, a ball on the floor. He found himself wishing for Evan, he wanted to hear Evan laugh, see him smile and tell him everything was going to be alright. He needed Evan.

Jonathan scrambled to his hands and knees, crawling his way in a hurry to his bed. Reaching for Memory Jonathan's phone. He needed to tell Evan, he needed Evan to save him, he needed Evan to come to his rescue, but as Jonathan went to grab the phone everything disappeared and he was falling. His bedroom no longer existed and he was just falling in a pit of black, everything was black.

And he cried, Jonathan screamed and he cried, until he couldn't no more. He screamed for Evan, he just needed Evan to shine a light in the darkness, like he always use to. Evan could save him, he knew Evan could.

He had to believe that Evan could.

When Jonathan could open his eyes again, he duly noted how he was back in his room. He chuckled hollowly to himself, would he be rewatching his death once more? Would he really be reliving his death for the rest of eternity?

He didn't even bother to try to dry his eyes, he left the tears to stain his cheeks as he moved to stand wobbly on his feet. He was confused to see that Memory Jonathan wasn't on the bed however, and shifting his eyes to the bathroom door, he noticed how it was still shut.

The phone was left undisturbed from where it was left, but when Jonathan tried to make a move for it again, his hand just fazed through it. He felt his chest constrict tightly at the revelation, but tried to hold his finally dried eyes from tearing up and crying all over again.

Although, it seems that this punishment was really trying to break him when he heard his name being called by a familiar voice. He looked to the door to his bedroom, his eyes widening with more unshed tears gathered up in waiting. "No..." He murmured, "No, please, I beg you..." He didn't even know who he was talking to, but he just knew he didn't want anymore.

He didn't want the person on the other side of the bedroom door to come any closer. "Jonathan?" His first best friend called again, his voice so much closer, it was right outside the door now.

Jonathan felt the tears pour now, as he moved to try and block the door. "Luke, no!" He yelled, "Don't come any closer! Don't, please!"

"Jon?" Luke, or better known as CaRtOoNz to some, didn't hear Jonathan's warnings, and opened the door anyway, poking a head through the crack. "Where are you? I've- we've been so worried. You haven't been answering your phone or posting anything." Only silence greeted him and he slowly entered the room, "Evan mentioned something about your last text to him as weird or strange, very unlike you or something."

"Luke, please..." Jonathan cried, his words coming out as a whine, his body feeling weak against the dread and heartache.

"Jonathan, this isn't funny." Luke frowned going to the bathroom door, making more tears fall from Jonathan's eyes. "Answer me, right now," he knocked on the door, before pounding louder, "Jon, you're really worrying me." Luke murmured.

"Please..." Jonathan would rather watch himself die over and over and over again, than see this. This was too much, why couldn't he stop this? Why did he think dying was such a smart idea? "Lu-..ke," He sobbed.

Luke grabbed the door handle, twisting it slowly, Jonathan hoping that he locked the door, but to his horror, the door popped open and Luke slowly pushed it to reveal what was hidden behind it.

Watching Luke recoil in such horrified shock killed Jonathan a little more inside, watching as the tears started to leak from his best friends eyes as well. Luke clasped a hand to cover his mouth and nose as he closed his eyes, only opening them to peer into the bathroom again. He quickly looked away, a shaky breath leaving him, "Oh my god..." He murmured, "Oh, Jon..." He swallowed thickly, before pulling out his phone to call 911.

After, Luke dropped his phone to the floor as he sunk down the edge of the bed to the floor across from the bathroom entry way. "Fuck, Jonathan..." He whispered to himself, burying his face in his hands. "Why?" Jonathan sobbed, as he crawled to Luke's side. He curled next to his best friends trembling body. "Why didn't you say anything? I would... I would have helped you... God, Jon..."

Jonathan sobbed on the floor next to him, as Luke continued, "What... How do I tell the others? God... What do I say?" Luke sobbed.

Only a few minutes passed before Memory Jonathan's body was taken away and Luke was forced out of the house, but no matter how many times Jonathan tried to leave with Luke, he would exit the bedroom door, but just end up back in the room. He couldn't leave, and he screamed, and cried some more just to be by Luke's side once more, but no matter how many times he curled himself up on the floor and screamed and cried for Luke or Evan, none of them came to his rescue.

And, again, once his tears had dried up, and he was staring blankly at the wall in front of him, the room fell apart and he was falling down in the black space. His surprise hit him hard when he realized he was now in Luke's home. He stood up on shaky feet and used the walls to support himself in following the voice of his best friend talking in the distance.

He found himself in Luke's recording room, Luke sitting at his desk, head in his hands and he waited for everyone on the apparent skype chat to quiet down. He didn't bother with headphones so Jonathan could hear everyone's voice filter through the device. His heart ached with the longing to laugh and talk with them once more.

"CaRtOoNz," Jonathan froze at the sound of Evan's voice, and it seemed everyone else did too, because suddenly everything went silent. "Where's Delirious?" Jonathan choked on his air, even though he wasn't even alive to be able to breathe it.

Luke sucked in a deep shaky breath, "Delirious..." He paused, swallowing thickly, "Jon, Jonathan... He's gone." Luke forced out, fresh tears leaking. A moment of silence passed before Evan called out again.

"What?" His voice was soft, so soft. It was shaky and you could hear the raspiness in it.

"Jonathan isn't here anymore!" Luke started, "I found him..." Luke sobbed, and then Jonathan could hear the various sniffs and sobs on the other end from everyone else, "He-he's gone, Jon kill... killed himself."

There was a pause where everyone was sniffling and crying to themselves until Evan's voice spoke out once more, "No, that isn't right." His voice was hesitant, "That isn't true, Jonathan wouldn't kill himself! Don't play around like that!" He shouted.

Luke gritted his teeth in anger, tears still streaming, "I fucking found him in the bathroom bent over a tub full of fucking bloodied water, so don't you fucking tell me that it isn't true! Look, I know you're in denial, but don't be telling me what I saw..." Luke sobbed, "You didn't see him... You didn't see him like that..."

Jonathan covered his ears, "No, stop, no more! I can't take no more! I'm sorry! I'm so, so, so, so, sorry!" He cried, "Just make it stop, I can't do this!"

He breathed heavily before Luke's shouting caught his attention and Jonathan had no choice but to tune back in. "Vanoss!" Luke yelled, "Evan!" He tried again, before a notification popped up saying that Vanoss had left the chat and was offline. "Fuck!"

Jonathan teared up once again, when suddenly the walls fell apart and the floor gave out beneath him; he was falling once more calling his best friend's name out.

It took Jonathan a little while to notice he wasn't falling anymore, but wherever he was it was still pitch black. He was curled up into himself on the floor, trying to seek comfort in whatever left over warmth he may have had, but to his misfortune, he couldn't feel a thing besides the undeniable pain making his heart constrict into itself. He sniffed and felt more tears at the ready before his attention was hooked on the sound of stomping walking past wherever he was.

Suddenly, there was a creaking sound and a small sliver of light flowed into the room. Whoever was making a racket, must have accidentally unjarred the door to the place Jonathan was in. Jonathan crawled his way through the door, literally, finding his surroundings to be very unfamiliar. Looking back, it seems Jonathan was in the linen closet.

He moved to his feet, slowly following where he heard the footsteps head, until he was suddenly surprised with yelling. He stepped back into the wall behind him, before he recovered and continued on. He was confused as to why he only heard one voice yelling consistently as he came closer to his destination.

Suddenly, it was very quiet as he finally turned the last corner to the room the commotion was. It was the living room, apparently, and his eyes fell onto a woman who stood in the middle. She was staring down at a figure sitting on the couch, her frown deep and expression angry until she sighed and it turned into a more pitiful look, "Look," she started, voice much softer than all the screaming she was doing earlier, "I know you're sad and depressed about the recent events, but you need to pull yourself together already."

She was greeted with more silence, and her face scrunched up into some sort of disgusted look, "God damn it, Evan!" She shouted, the name striking a chord deep within Jonathan and he hurried to confirm the identified figure. And sure enough, the familiar build of Evan Fong, or rather VanossGaming, was sitting on the couch before him and this woman with ill intentions. Evan sat with his elbows on his knees as he held his face in his palms, his form slouched and clearly dejected.

Whoever this woman was, though, clearly didn't see what Jonathan saw and continued to lash out at the poor soul, "Pull yourself together already! Yes, your friend is gone, he died, and it was sad." She growled, "But that was months ago, move on already. I'm tired of your pouting and depressing mood. You won't let anyone in and it's starting to get annoying how difficult you're being."

Jonathan watched as Evan just silently took everything she was throwing at him. Jonathan felt more tears bite at the corner of his eyes, this shell of the once happy Evan was his fault? Evan wasn't even moving anymore, and if it wasn't for the every shallow moving of his chest that told you he was still alive and breathing it would be hard to tell that he was. And with the every word that poured out of the mouth of that terrible woman he got more angry with her. Who did she think she was, grinding Evan down more and more than he already was? Forcing him to move on was selfish and evil of her. Evan needed support, Evan needed love... Evan needed someone to save him from himself.

All because of Jonathan. Was Evan really so torn about Jonathan's death? Did Evan really care about him so much...? A few more tears dripped down his cheeks for the millionth time.

"You didn't even know him that well, you didn't even know him personally or see his face, how could you be so attached to a him? All he was, was a voic-"

"Leave."

Jonathan was taken aback with the sudden interjection of Evan's voice. It was weak, so weak and soft. His voice broke with terrible raspiness, god it made Jonathan's knees wobble in heartache at the sound of it. The woman seemed just as surprised as Jonathan when Evan spoke up. "W-what?" She stuttered out.

"Leave. I want to be alone." Evan finally looked up to stare unseeingly into her eyes. One look and that was all it took to make Jonathan crash to his knees. Evan looked so terrible, he looked so haunted. He didn't look like Evan anymore.

Jonathan sucked in a tear-free sob, that was until they started to well up in his blue eyes. No matter how sore or achingly painful it was to cry now because of how much of it he's done, he still felt the tears dangerously close to spilling.

Evan's eyes were dull and hollow, no longer the warm and soulful brown orbs that Jonathan remembered. He had black bags underneath his eyes, to the point where he looked scary, and his face had thinned out. And now that Jonathan observed more of him, he noticed how thin Evan was in general.

The woman's face turned into a insulted expression, "Fine, we're done,  _Fong_." She spat, "Have fun without anyone here to take your depressing crap."

Ah, so that was his girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend now, the one whose name he never cared to remember. Evan talked about her a lot though... Evan really liked her, but now she was leaving. Jonathan felt slightly panicked, watching as Evan shifted his eyes to stare deadly at the floor. Even if that woman was utterly disgusting and terrible personality wise, Evan still needed as much support as possible.

He watched with worry as the woman left, closing the door behind her with a loud force. Evan sighed almost inaudibly, and Jonathan focused back on him, concerned and guilty. He wished he could take everything back, he wished he could take his selfish act back, especially if it caused all this pain and heartache to the ones he loved. He missed them so much already, they couldn't even look at him, see him, as he watched them fall apart. He wanted Evan back to his former self. He wanted his Evan back, the cheerful, loving, happy Evan with the gorgeous laugh and smile; with the gorgeous eyes that made Jonathan's heart speed up and insides fuzzy.

He wanted the Evan he loved to come back.

He didn't want to be the reason for his pain, or suffering, he wanted Evan to live without him, to move on and forget everything about the pathetic life of H20 Delirious, or Jonathan.

But as he watched Evan shakily stand to his feet and fazed through Jonathan's invisible form to go to his room, Jonathan wondered why he thought it would have been such an easy feat. Evan was his best friend, just like Luke, why did he think anyone one of them could just forget about him?

Jonathan followed Evan, watching as the younger male picked up his phone from the nightstand. Evan continued to leave his room, confusing Jonathan as he followed Evan back to the living room, walking to a sliding door that Jonathan didn't notice before. Walking out onto the small porch, Jonathan remembered Evan talking about how he lived in a tall apartment building. It was dark out, the sun seeming to have had already set. Evan leaned against the railing, his breath coming out in small white clouds. Jonathan worried for Evan's health without a sweater or jacket as Evan turned on his phone, it having already been opened to their chat.

The conversation between Evan and Jonathan glared up at Evan's face. Jonathan also looked over Evan's shoulder to look down and he came face to face with the last message he ever sent to Evan. He felt the tears finally dribble free, as he noticed the long list of texts Evan sent in a panicked response, asking him where he was, what he meant, why wasn't he answering him...

Jonathan's eyes trailed back up to his final words, ' _I love you_ ' before he closed them tightly as he felt all the emotions he sent with that message come back to him full force.

Until he heard Evan shift his feet, and Jonathan was immediately watching Evan again, "I'm sorry." Jonathan whispered, even though he knew his words would never reach, "I'm so sorry, Evan." He cried.

Evan's hands tightened around his phone, but because of the cold weather, his fingers twitched in response, causing his phone to leave the safety of his grip. Evan sucked in a sharp breath as he reached out quickly to try to catch the object, but it was no use because it was far gone on it's way down to it's doom upon the street below. Evan whimpered as he slid to a crouch, leaning his forehead against the fence, while his hands gripped at the top of the railing until his knuckles became white.

"Fuck, Delirious..." Evan whispered, Jonathan kneeling down to see his face, more tears falling as he saw the same water trails glistening down Evan's cheeks. "What the fuck made you think it was okay to leave?" He forced out, sucking in a deep breath, "Why the fuck did you do it? Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?" He sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Evan, I'm sorry, I wish I could take it back, fuck..." Jonathan covered his face, "I want to take back everything, I just want you."

"You better be fucking sorry!" Evan's response shocked him to look up into his face again, watching as the younger male stood back to his feet. Jonathan wondered if Evan could actually hear him, his heart leaping into his throat as he also stood back up, getting ready to say something more, until Evan's continuation made his heart fall like bricks again, "Because when I see you again, I'm gonna... I'm gonna fucking ring your neck myself," Evan growled out into the air. What did that mean?

Jonathan felt his body freeze as Evan climbed onto the rail, sitting with his feet dangled over the edge.

Evan paused for a moment to look up at the sky, a sad broken smile pulling at his lips, "I love you too, Jonathan." Then Evan was pushing himself off the railing, and Jonathan with shock over Evan's sudden action quickly reached for him, but to his misfortune his hand fazed right through Evan's body.

Everything crashed in that moment, everything came down on Jonathan within seconds, the realization of what happened, what everything meant. Jonathan fell to the floor of the porch, curling up into a small ball as large sobs racked his frame. Evan was gone. Evan jumped.

It was Jonathan's fault. God, Jonathan was a fucking idiot, why was he so selfish? Why did he kill himself? Why couldn't he have just talked to Evan about everything? Why couldn't he have done things differently?

Evan... Evan loved him back.

Jonathan couldn't breath with all of the tears and sobs that tired his body out to the core.

He wanted Evan, he needed Evan.

Evan needed to stay alive, he didn't mean for things to turn out this way, god, Jonathan didn't want any of this. Jonathan wanted everything to go back to the way things were before. He wanted to talk and laugh with Evan, play games with him.

He wanted everyone to be happy, and full of laughter again. He wanted Luke to not find his weakened, disgusting remains - he wanted everything to be okay again. He wanted to laugh and smile with everyone, make YouTube videos to share with all his subscribers, he wanted to be happy again.

Because he was happy. Why did he think he wasn't?

He had everyone there for him, he had Evan.

And he lost it all just because of a small mistake, and he wanted to take it back, fuck, he wanted to take it all back.

He wanted Evan back.

"Del...!"

Jonathan opened his eyes at the sound of something. He was still on the porch, but he noticed it was starting to fall apart, just like every other time this punishment was done breaking Jonathan with one scene just to take him to another and start it all over again.

"Delirious!" There it was again, his name. The voice sounded familiar, but he was falling again, the dark was eating him up. He closed his eyes tightly, the tears falling more freely as he crashed further.

"Hello? Are you there?"

"Hellllllo? Delirious!"

"Hey, dude, are okay?"

"You're worrying us."

Delirious opened his eyes as soon as he recognized the voices. To his surprise he came face to face with his x-box controller. He blinked before he shot his head up so fast that he was dizzy for a good few seconds as he continued to listen to questions of his well of being through his headphones.

"W-what?" He asked in a daze.

Everyone was instantly sighing in relief and laughing. Then they were scolding him asking him what was wrong with him and what had happened.

Apparently they were making a recording when they heard a loud thumping noise and silence from Delirious. They got increasingly worried when they heard whimpering and heavy, ragged breathing; they thought he hurt himself somehow.

"Dude, are you sure you're alright?" Tyler's voice cut out above everyone else's, "...We heard you calling Evan's name..."

Delirious chuckled hollowly to himself in disbelief, covering his face and dragging the hand down over his eyes and mouth in wonder, "Did I...?" He asked breathlessly, "I'm sorry guys..."

It  _was_  a dream... He was alive, he was breathing... Everyone could hear him, they were talking with him, they were laughing, but at the same time they were beyond worried for him.

"Hey, I think... I think I'm actually gonna go..." He murmured, "I'm really sorry for worrying you all."

"Hey, look," Tyler spoke up again, making Delirious perk up once more, "I know none of us are as close to you as Evan is, but that doesn't mean we don't care any less for you." Delirious felt tears welling up in his sore blue eyes, making them shine with a glassy look. "If you ever need anything, to talk or whatever, we're all here for you, I'm sure everyone agrees with me." There were hums, and words of agreement from everyone.

Delirious sucked in a deep, shaky breath that he was sure that everyone heard, "Thank you, guys, so much..." His voice wobbled, "C-can we finish this up some other time?" He continued weakly, "I... I really need to tell Evan some things."

"Of course," Tyler and everyone agreed cheerily, "Good luck, bro. I'm sure everything will turn out great."

"Thank you, again, so much," Delirious continued to ramble.

"Yeah, yeah, we hear you, now go on, talk to Evan." Tyler dismissed, and Delirious instantly agreed giving a quick goodbye before ending his side of the call.

He searched for Evan's name and paused for a moment, gathering his wits before calling the one person he ever felt so strongly for, hoping he would be available.

To his luck, Evan picked up immediately, "Hey! I thought you were recording with the guys-" He trailed off as his eyes locked onto the screen - Jonathan sheepishly smiled at him.

"Yeah, I was, but some things came up and... well, are you free for a while?" He asked, trying to breeze over the fact that he was showing his face to someone other than Luke for once.

"U-uh, um, yeah, why?" Evan stuttered, his eyes shining brightly as a smile spread across his face. That smile that Jonathan loved so much.

Jonathan smiled widely back, "You won't mind if I take up that free time, right?" He paused for a moment, looking into Evan's face as he urged Jonathan to continue with his eyes. "I have a lot to talk to you about."

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Wattpad the twenty-seventh of December, 2017.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://sakura-lawliet.tumblr.com), as well.
> 
> Thank you for reading,  
> ~Sakura


End file.
